“Ever since that kid died, they’ve had security guards out here,” I say. “They say they’d love to welcome people, but they can’t accept the liability.”
They look at me, smile, nod. The things disinterested people do. Marco says something about stupid people weakening the gene pool while he fiddles with a bag of weed. Gretchen walks beside him, tells him to hurry up because she’s had a bad day. We’re already on the quarry grounds.
“Man, people been coming out here for decades. What you scared of?” Derrick asks.
“Fines, community service, probation, jail,” I say. “Death.”
“Worst that happens? We get kicked out,” he says.
We’re on the old railroad tracks. It’s a straight line to Rooftop. The trip is Derrick’s idea. He wants to jump. He wants me to jump.
“The paper said they’ve been vigilant about pressing charges, Derrick,” I say. “I just want everybody to know the risk.”
“You need a joint,” Marco says and offers me one.
“Hey, where’s mine?” Gretchen whines.
Derrick pulls the tab on a Natural Ice and takes a drink.
We’re already passed the first two quarry holes. Each of them between 20 and 30 feet high, enough to maim or kill a person if he lands on some old machinery under the water. These are less popular jumps than the 65-foot Rooftop. People say hundreds, maybe thousands of kids have jumped off that one. Most are injured – bruises and broken small bones – and some die like that kid who’s the reason security’s out here now. I take a hit off the joint.
Derrick, his hands on my shoulders, asks, “Ready to jump, bro?”
“Can I have a beer?” I don’t answer the question.
“Man, shoulda brought your own,” he says and hands me one. “I’m givin’ you one ’cause I don’t want you to puss out, alright?”
It’s a good thing. The weed makes me anxious. The beer takes the edge off. I think.
When we get to Rooftop, Gretchen takes a hit off a joint she stole from Marco’s mouth. She looks down at the water.
“Shit, that’s a long way done,” she says. Then, she looks at Marco, “Don’t worry, baby, I won’t think you’re less of a man if you don’t jump.”
Then, she winks at me.
Derrick and Marco know I’m into Gretchen. I don’t know if she knows or not. I hope she doesn’t. I don’t want to be the guy who creates a weird space for his friends because he can’t stop drooling over some girl. That’s not who I am.
“Shit, dude, I think she might be into you,” Marco says.
“Fuck you,” I say, and sometimes, this time, I mean it.
Derrick finishes his third Natural Ice and throws it down into the water. We all watch as it falls. And falls. And falls. Derrick’s backwash leaking out behind it, the clack clack as it hits the rocks on the way down.
* * *
After my grandpa died, I saw a psychic. I don’t know why. I guess that’s just something people do when they’re hurt and angry. I wanted reasons. I wanted closure. I wanted to know that I wasn’t going to die.
“Did someone in your family spend a lot of time around water?” she asked. “Someone who liked to fish or go boating or swimming, pardon the expression, come Hell or high water?”
“My grandpa.”
“That’s the person I see all around you,” she said. “Your grandpa’s essence, his aura. He’s covered you in a great white protective light.”
“Oh, yeah?” I said.
“Do you spend much time around the water?” she asked.
“Not really.”
“You should,” she smiled. “You’ll be happier. It’ll bring you closer together.”
* * *
I hear Gretchen moan. She and Marco are somewhere else, giggling. It’s just me and Derrick on the cliff.
“The trick is keep your shoes on,” Derrick says. “All the people in the YouTube videos have their shoes on.”
He finishes another beer.
“You sure you want to do this?” I ask him.
“Sure as I ever been,” he smiles. “Just don’t puss out on me, okay?”
I look down at the green water and try to make out where the old machinery is. I look for signs of hidden danger. Anything to stop us from doing it. Derrick is too brave, too proud to stop on account of nerves, so I look for reasons, but I don’t find any.
He jumps.
I’m still looking for reasons when he disappears into the green water. When I don’t see him come up. When I’m jumping off the cliff, crashing through the water like a rock through a church window.
I’m still looking for reasons when I’m dragging his body out of the water. When the security guard catches Gretchen and Marco, and they lead him to us. When the paramedics arrive, Derrick disappears again.